I Am Ever With You

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I am here, sitting in some coffee shop one tricycle away from home, with an empty chair before me. Trying to fight an impending flu, I type away as songs from Arnel Aquino, SJ’s playlist accompany me as I strive to find inspiration. It is hard to be inspired when what happens in reality can paralyze one to be uninspired.

And as it is with the God who knows me well, a song played in that random playlist that begged for attention. I had to stop what I was doing and listen as its melody hit every strand of unquiet within. For a moment, I had to stop what I was doing as the tears began to fall.

That is how it is with God. In the most unexpected moments, He sits before you in that empty chair before you in some coffee shop. He would invite Himself in and in the most unguarded moments, speak with so much compassion. (This, I figured can only happen when before Him we are totally unguarded). He would reach out His hand for you to hold and grasp, offer a smile to give you a bit of consolation. He would be often quiet, not answering the questions you might present before Him because maybe the answers are still not meant to be revealed, for our hearts may not be able to contain the truth of whatever it is that we seek. (Or maybe the answers are already there and we struggle at the incomprehensibility of how so, for we can really never know the mind of God. We can only acquiesce, confident that He knows best and that His will is beautiful despite the world finding it otherwise.)

But He is there. He is ever with us, especially in moments when we struggle with His silence and our hearts moan with the pain of emptiness. He is there, accompanying us in solitude. His is a comforting presence. A peaceful one, to put it succinctly. And isn’t peace not the absence of noise or pain but the enduring presence of Someone stronger who we may anchor our weary hearts on?

I find that even if no one sees the hidden struggles, even when no one sees what occurs in the heart in the solitary moments, He is ever present in each bout of grief, wiping each tear away with His gentle hands.

And so oblivious to prying eyes who may wonder why the tears, I continue to type and do what must be done, knowing that He is here, before me sitting in some coffee shop one tricycle away from home.

Do not let your hearts be troubled
Do not stay afraid
It is really I who you see
I offer you all my peace

I have waited for this moment
To be with you again
In my heart you’ll remain
In your heart I’ll stay

I am with you, till the end of your days
I am with you, have faith
That I hold you
Even when you let go
And I love you,
You must know I am here. I am ever with you.

Do not let your hearts be troubled
Do not stay afraid
I’m beyond all anguish or death
I’m risen to life anew

When you feel that you’ve been emptied
And can give no more
Know that I am your breath and I fill your soul.

I am with you, till the end of your days
I am with you, have faith
That I hold you
Even when you let go
And I love you,
You must know I am here. I am ever with you.

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