Hands would always provide a sense of comfort. It is always consoling to have warm hands to squeeze when the world seems to be falling apart. In my lifetime, I’ve had so many hands that touched mine. Some stayed, some let go. To those who let go, it was difficult for me to recover. Maybe because at a very, very young age, the strong hands that should have held my little ones had to let me go for so many reasons I only understood later on.
It would take time for me to trust anyone who would provide that sense of comfort. I would find it very awkward at the beginning until I find how it is safe to let go, too, of my doubts. Maybe because I am afraid? I guess I am. Deep inside this strong exterior, I am actually a child. And rough and calloused my hands may seem, they actually easily break.
But I found that in my lifetime, there was a hand that really never let go of mine even if it felt He did at times. I realized that even if there will really be hands that will leave you broken, His hands would always be there to mend the pieces back together. His would even wound itself just so my small, fragile hands would be safe.
And these hands have also taught me to expose my fragile hands for the world. Not exclusively for another, but for all. He taught me how to reach out. Even if I would find myself withdrawing in fear, He would always remind me how His hand will never reject mine. Even if the hands I thought would stay would abandon me, His would always be there to make me feel secure.
A few days back, I found my hands closed in a fist. Each day it would harden in disdain. Then just last night, as I was going home after a long and tiring day, defenses down and completely open, I knew that my hands were more tired than my heart. So in the silence of the car that brought me home, like a lullabye that put the anger to sleep, He “sent” down a song to remind me how He is faithful promise-keeper. That in a world of people breaking promises and breaking fragile hands, He is present and very real.
Slowly, I opened my hands once again. Surely, I know there may still be people who would see beyond its fragility and use these hands to provide a sense of comfort for a just a little while. But because He showed me His hands and the scars left by the very people He loved (me included), I got the message how mine was meant to be that way too. That while He had fragile hands too, those hands never gave up in reaching out, never closed itself even in the face of suffering.
I look at mine and fragile as they were, they were actually strong too. And if His remained open, I think I could do the same too. I think I could now begin again to hold very fragile hands too.
I just cant compare you with
Anything in this world
As endless as forever
Our love will stay together
You’re all I need to be with forever more.